Kindness has a wonderful knock on effect for our wellbeing ,check out this weeks vlog.
Self- care seems to be banded around in this present pandemic period and I guess understandably.
Every health professional in the world would suggest if we are in good health we are less likely to suffer so badly from many ailments, including the effects of Civd.
As a person who drank too much, smoked ,was overweight, in an unhappy marriage with 3 kids, and seemingly stressed all the time I would have been at high risk right now!
This blog is not about the ‘blame game’ as I was truly doing the best I could and could see ‘NO way’ of actually finding time to put myself first.
As a Nurse at that time I seem to spend my time caring for others, my family and myself last, where would I find time for me?
There was not enough hours in the day for me with my tight schedule as it was, so what could I do differently?
I guess the real nub of the issue was my mind set, it had to change, like the oxygen mask on the aeroplane advice, I needed to put me first.
I now realise after years of actually putting myself first the AMAZING benefits I enjoy.
A healthy active body, a focused mind, more energy, more empathy, more mental stability with less up and downs, a happy marriage, greater respect for others as well as myself,I have learned to create better boundaries and can now say no in a loving kind way.
My self-care is now my priority and I help others to achieve the same.
As you can imagine this turn around for me did not happen overnight so the secret is doing one small tiny action and then building on it .A great book I read called ‘The Slight Edge’ by Jeff Olson complete changed my thinking and really helped me achieve the results I have today. My own book ‘Know The Truth’ may also be hugely helpful.
I also got help with my addictive issues in a recovery program and allowed myself to become vulnerable, more open and honest and admit I was overwhelmed.
As I write this blog I feel so blessed to have had another chance at living my life in a more healthy happier way, and in turn helping others achieve the same.
NEVER give up on improving your health, but just remember Rome was not built in a day, it takes baby steps in the right direction to achieve a healthier more fulfilled life.
Let the work begin!
We all love the benefits of self discipline but the real magic is to bypass the profound negative effects of not honouring commitments to oursleves.
We all experience pain of some sort or another but this vlog will hopefully help at least ease the pain.
Functioning isn’t so simple when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Common experiences that can lead to emotional overwhelm can include:
Relationship issues
Physical or mental health illness
A demanding job
Lack of nutrition
Financial distress and insecurity
Significant life changes
Time constraints
Death of a loved one
Personal traumas such as abuse
Habitual lack of sleep
Here I explain how we can overcome our overwhelm.
While many of us hit the gym, eat well and make an effort on our physical health every day, yet very few of us take care of our mental health in the same way. Today I am focusing on the importance of good mental health at the office.
This really blew my mind as it’s so obvious and so simple but SO hard to apply! I have had a knee injury over the past few weeks and it can spiral me into a negative place as I am such an active person who just loves being on my bike and outside.
I guess we all have situations we can’t control that challenge us sometimes, but staying really focused on the circle of influence really is the way forward.
I know from bitter experience if I go down the road of concern it just does not serve me, and notice I get lethargic, I feel sorry for myself, I am demotivated and often moody which can overflow onto others.
I am not saying it is easy, but we have a choice about what we think about and I feel it is really important to apply the three A’s I often mention to help us shift into a better place and they are:
‘Acknowledge, Acceptance, and Action,’ first I need to identify the justifiable feelings and in my case I feel, Angry, frustrated, disappointed, and sad.
The next difficult stage is to Accept the situation, I may not like the situation, but it is what it is and finally, the golden power tool, ACTION, what can I do about it?
This is where the shift from the circle of concern starts to get better by now focusing on the circle of influence ( ie what can I do to help the situation). So what can I think about and do?
For me I went and drove to the park instead of ride and sat in there which helped my mental well-being as at least I was getting outside into nature, I did a gratitude list as I have had 2 weeks off and at least rested, I wrote this blog to help others which always makes me feel better and I did things in my home I might not have got around to.
I really hope you find some help in this tool as I do believe it can dramatically help with how your whole well-being can improve with just a small shift of focus. Try it what have you go to lose.
I used to think that having self-belief was a bit like having too much pride, or being obnoxious, too big-headed, which I thought was a negative trait to possess. Imagine how it would be to only ever say nice things about yourself in your mind. This is the ‘be your own best friend’ principle’…
I used to think that worrying helped me avoid bad things, prevent problems, prepare me for the worst, or lead me to solutions. The problem is that constant worrying or anxious thoughts can take a heavy toll. The good news is you absolutely can regain control and face life’s challenges with calm, assurance and a sense of staying grounded. Here are my 5 top tips.
I watched a wonderful film on Netflix yesterday that was really amazing and touched me in many ways.
The film was called ‘Wish man’ and left me wanting to share this guy’s message too.
Life at present for myself and many others seems to be a roller coaster of uncertainty and insecurity which seems to bring with it a plethora of emotional ups and downs.
In the mix for many is anxiety, stress, worry, and of course fear.
My purpose on the planet, I believe, is to help others by encouraging, supporting, empathising and just listening to them.
Many people know writing is not my strength, but I push myself out of my comfort zone by writing a blog once a month as I know it is is an area, I want to improve in.
There is much research on the benefits of kindness (not just to others but to ourselves ) and that is what I want to focus on today.
The health benefits of kindness…
Helping others feels good.
It creates a sense of belonging and reduces isolation. ...
It helps keep things in perspective.
It helps to make the world a happier place – one act of kindness can often lead to more!
The more you do for others, the more you do for yourself.
Being kind boosts serotonin and dopamine, which are neurotransmitters in the brain that give you feelings of satisfaction and well-being, and cause the pleasure/reward centres in your brain to light up. Endorphins, which are your body's natural pain killer, also can be released.
For me personally I notice I can dip into low moods and often feel a bit sorry for myself for various reasons and just being kind takes the focus off me and my own thoughts, it can be a welcome distraction to help me feel better.
So whatever is going on in the world that you cannot control always remember that a kind word, deed or thought will not only have a wonderful effect on others by making them feel better, it will also give you a real sense of connection and fulfilment.
Being vulnerable takes courage and is something we all need to expose to help us connect more with others
It’s a tough call sometimes when we are asked to do things for friends, family, and colleagues, on the one hand we all want to please others we often find we are so stretched we often ‘overdo’ by people-pleasing and get end up getting tired, overloaded, resentful and often feel burned out.
So what’s the answer? well in my long years as a Nurse, wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend I seemed to ALWAYS end up putting other people’s needs in front of my own.
I often felt angry and noticed people took me for granted or did not respect my time, I soon released it was my own doing ( a hard pill to swallow often).
I was the one who would not say no and ALLOWED people to manipulate me.
I was the one who took on more than I could cope with.
I was the one who actually did not respect me not the other people.
I was the one who had not created firm respectable boundaries.
I have amazed myself by doing a full 180-degree turnaround and funnily enough, people do now really respect me, I do have great boundaries and am even able to say no.
I released it’s the way you say things that is as important as what you say.
My top tips if want to learn to say no and have better boundaries …
1.Pause before you commit and say I will get back to you.
2.Take time to think if you really have time and are willing to give it freely.
3.When saying no it’s ok to say I am sorry I can’t do Y but I could do X instead if that helps.
4.When you need to say no you can say you have another commitment and it might even be a commitment to rest but you don’t need to say what it is.
5. PRACTISE, PRACTISE, PRACTISE, start with the people it’s easiest with and work up to the more challenging people.
I promise if you stand up tall, be authentic, look people in the eyes, and speak with a loving tone you will find the world will be more respectful to you and most of all you will feel more respected by yourself.
It may not be easy at first to create better boundaries and learn to say no, but in the long run, when we make sure we take care of our own needs we avoid the stress and pressure that creates the dis-ease in our bodies and will live a more peaceful less pressured life.