Winston Churchill once said that “attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

I used to think that having self-belief was a bit like having too much pride, or being obnoxious, too big-headed, which I thought was a negative trait to possess. I thought that being a good person meant talking myself down. Like if someone said to me that my outfit looked nice, I would respond with “Oh this old thing? I’ve had it for years…”

Turns out I was wrong. Having self-belief is all about kindness and care, about being my own champion, the idea of being my own best friend.

Think about a good friend, someone you might term your best friend. When they express a life’s dream, or an idea, or an aspiration, would I ever want to trample all over it or say it was rubbish? Of course not! I encourage them, tell them to ‘go for it’, and do my very best to help them achieve it. And so we can do the same for ourselves - we can choose to be our own best friends. 

Imagine how it would be to only ever say nice things about yourself in your mind. This might be easier for some than others and that’s ok because it's the principle we are talking about here. Some people think that it is the human condition to say horrible things to themselves, to berate themselves when they perceive that things have gone wrong for them in some way. 

Have you ever got off the phone with a friend, family member or work colleague and felt like you said something you shouldn’t have, or tripped over your words so they came out funny, or just plain didn’t know what to say at all? Yep, I’ve been there, and so have most of the human population. But not everyone berates themselves afterwards, running the tape of the conversation over in their minds, wishing they could go back in time. And then the second tape starts, the one that often starts with “Oh look how stupid you are…” and off it goes. 

In case you were wondering, this is NOT how to be your own champion!

In these moments, the ‘be-your-own-best-friend’ principle says “Ah, look, I did something silly there, bless me!” I have even been known to pat myself on my own shoulder as a form of comfort (yes really, try it, it really works!). 

Sometimes I can consider how I might do it differently next time. But there isn;t always an obvious different action to take here. Sometimes I need to think kind, loving thoughts and simply move on. 

What you will find is that if you do this often enough, it will start to become a habit and by feeding your brain with positive thinking and self-belief affirmations, you create no space for pessimistic thoughts. And even when they arrive from time to time, your confident attitude beats them instantly.

This self-belief (this ‘being your own best friend’ principle) is not only good within itself. Positivity begets positivity. Adopting this attitude always leads to increased self-respect, more energy and confidence. The world often starts to look different and a more positive attitude usually leads to positive, kind acts to other people too, and so the world benefits from it just as much. 

Try it!