I used to think that having self-belief was a bit like having too much pride, or being obnoxious, too big-headed, which I thought was a negative trait to possess. Imagine how it would be to only ever say nice things about yourself in your mind. This is the ‘be your own best friend’ principle’…
I used to think that worrying helped me avoid bad things, prevent problems, prepare me for the worst, or lead me to solutions. The problem is that constant worrying or anxious thoughts can take a heavy toll. The good news is you absolutely can regain control and face life’s challenges with calm, assurance and a sense of staying grounded. Here are my 5 top tips.
I watched a wonderful film on Netflix yesterday that was really amazing and touched me in many ways.
The film was called ‘Wish man’ and left me wanting to share this guy’s message too.
Life at present for myself and many others seems to be a roller coaster of uncertainty and insecurity which seems to bring with it a plethora of emotional ups and downs.
In the mix for many is anxiety, stress, worry, and of course fear.
My purpose on the planet, I believe, is to help others by encouraging, supporting, empathising and just listening to them.
Many people know writing is not my strength, but I push myself out of my comfort zone by writing a blog once a month as I know it is is an area, I want to improve in.
There is much research on the benefits of kindness (not just to others but to ourselves ) and that is what I want to focus on today.
The health benefits of kindness…
Helping others feels good.
It creates a sense of belonging and reduces isolation. ...
It helps keep things in perspective.
It helps to make the world a happier place – one act of kindness can often lead to more!
The more you do for others, the more you do for yourself.
Being kind boosts serotonin and dopamine, which are neurotransmitters in the brain that give you feelings of satisfaction and well-being, and cause the pleasure/reward centres in your brain to light up. Endorphins, which are your body's natural pain killer, also can be released.
For me personally I notice I can dip into low moods and often feel a bit sorry for myself for various reasons and just being kind takes the focus off me and my own thoughts, it can be a welcome distraction to help me feel better.
So whatever is going on in the world that you cannot control always remember that a kind word, deed or thought will not only have a wonderful effect on others by making them feel better, it will also give you a real sense of connection and fulfilment.
Being vulnerable takes courage and is something we all need to expose to help us connect more with others
It’s a tough call sometimes when we are asked to do things for friends, family, and colleagues, on the one hand we all want to please others we often find we are so stretched we often ‘overdo’ by people-pleasing and get end up getting tired, overloaded, resentful and often feel burned out.
So what’s the answer? well in my long years as a Nurse, wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend I seemed to ALWAYS end up putting other people’s needs in front of my own.
I often felt angry and noticed people took me for granted or did not respect my time, I soon released it was my own doing ( a hard pill to swallow often).
I was the one who would not say no and ALLOWED people to manipulate me.
I was the one who took on more than I could cope with.
I was the one who actually did not respect me not the other people.
I was the one who had not created firm respectable boundaries.
I have amazed myself by doing a full 180-degree turnaround and funnily enough, people do now really respect me, I do have great boundaries and am even able to say no.
I released it’s the way you say things that is as important as what you say.
My top tips if want to learn to say no and have better boundaries …
1.Pause before you commit and say I will get back to you.
2.Take time to think if you really have time and are willing to give it freely.
3.When saying no it’s ok to say I am sorry I can’t do Y but I could do X instead if that helps.
4.When you need to say no you can say you have another commitment and it might even be a commitment to rest but you don’t need to say what it is.
5. PRACTISE, PRACTISE, PRACTISE, start with the people it’s easiest with and work up to the more challenging people.
I promise if you stand up tall, be authentic, look people in the eyes, and speak with a loving tone you will find the world will be more respectful to you and most of all you will feel more respected by yourself.
It may not be easy at first to create better boundaries and learn to say no, but in the long run, when we make sure we take care of our own needs we avoid the stress and pressure that creates the dis-ease in our bodies and will live a more peaceful less pressured life.
Some people are not sure if they are addicted to something and this vlog might help you decide if you really are, always remember there is help if you need it.
We all get overwhelmed at times with so much to do and not so much time to do it and perhaps you get overwhelmed with life and things around you.There is an easier solution to really help you move forward, so check out my latest video to see how you can really help yourself and reduce stress at the same time.
My new years message must always be about self care improving our health, why is it the same you might ask? check out my Vlog and find out.We all seem to want the best health but we all really need to invest the time, energy, and commitment to making the changes to turn our best intentions into tangible actions.
So what’s the excitement about? And what’s that title all about?
Patience my dear readers, it will be revealed soon enough!
I must say, I am delighted to be writing this Blog for a change. As you know my monthly Blogs are SO much harder than my Vlogs as I feel so natural in front of a camera and so comfortable, but as a coach, I need to remember I must streeeetch myself to grow and writing these monthly is the answer to greater learning.
As they say practice makes permanent ( I dislike practice makes perfect as there is no such thing as perfect!)
Ok Ok, this is The story…
I went to the doctors the other day ( no it’s not a joke) and had 30 minutes worth of health checks, blood tests, sugar levels, cholesterol levels, question after question and eventually the results spued out of the computer.
3 days before Xmas the Health Professional just stared at me then looked at the results then again at me, how old are you? She said.
She knew I was 60 so I was a bit confused, is there something wrong I wondered?
She then smiled and said she had never in 7 years seen such amazing health results/scores. In fact, some people half my age were not at healthy and well.
As you can imagine I was delighted, my best Xmas present in a very tough year was amazing health! Not only do I truly care and respect my body and really look after it, I now have the rewards for doing so.
Now I am not suggesting if you do what I do you will have the same, sadly I know many people who seem to have a really healthy life but have had illness and health issues.
What I am saying is if you do the best you can with your self-care and wellbeing there is a greater chance you will avoid many health issues, or at least be able to manage them better.
As I end my Blogg for this week and as we go into a new year, my prayer is that everyone really takes a good look at what their health was like last year and what possible changes they could make to improve their wellbeing either mentally, physically spiritually or emotionally.
Let us all make 2021 a healthier happier year for ourselves.
Many of us feel the pressure of Xmas and find we get more stressed. How would it be to relax more and really enjoy the festive period? Check out my whole month of December Vlogs for simple tips on how to reduce stress.
Why is we speak so disrespectfully to ourselves sometimes? it appears we are harder on ourselves and more judgmental than on others.
Those voices in our heads telling us we are not good enough, not clever enough, not tall enough, not slim enough, not intelligent enough, not creative enough and the list goes on.
I believe everyone has heard those voices at one time or another and it’s time to rise above the negativity we sometimes create for ourselves.
Also, remind yourself if you would say all those things to another person how might they feel?
.So what can we actually do when these thoughts and voices come into our heads?
I want to give you an exercise which I have found a real game-changer and one I work with some of my clients ( and myself).
It’s really a simple process of imagining you were talking to someone you love and reframe the things that are coming into your mind.
So the next time you notice those voices I want you to challenge the thoughts/voices and ask is this really the truth and who says it’s the truth ( generally it’s just not the truth) then swap the negative thoughts and voices for positive ones, for example:
I am not clever enough swap to I can learn new things and am capable
I am not creative enough swap to Everyone is creative and I am too
I don’t deserve the best swap to Everyone deserves good things and so do I
See how you feel when you do this small change and you will find that when the voices come in again you can smile and say thank you but I choosing to listen to the more loving voices today that best serve me!
Let’s be honest we all have huge potential and are all pretty amazing!
Let's be honest we all love a few benefits in life but what is great about actions is, we then get results which is what we all really love in the end! Check out the 7 benefits you can allow yourself to experience as well as many more that I am sure you can come up with. As they say, 'one ounce of action is greater than one ton of theory'
Do you sometimes feel stressed, anxious ,fatigued and unfocused but don’t really know why? check out my 5 possible reasons why.
