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disciplining your mind

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 16:49:26 +0100

This is one of the most challenging blogs I have ever written, as discipline is a hard concept to master!

In good times and bad my life’s passion is for me to ensure that I am in control of my feelings, not my feelings are in control of me!

Without discipline my life becomes rather disjointed, and it’s a GREAT feeling to know that I have the capability to turn things around.

Positive things arise from being disciplined, for example, I have been playing the piano for 8 years and practice nearly every day for 30 minutes. I enjoy being that committed and I am able to see the great results.

Also, when life gets tough, as it invariably does, it can be a life saver, getting me through.

Recently I have had some very challenging family situations to deal with, and I notice how my mind wants to 'run wild' and project into “scenarios” of how things might be, as well as coping with my own feelings of despondency.

I have to be disciplined in many areas of my life, but it is more important when things don’t go well.

Two techniques I often use when things are not going well, that can almost guarantee I do not get too caught up in my imagination are, to remind my self to 'keep things in the day (or moment)' and choosing to think about something else, when I start to dwell negatively upon the sitaution.

Ask yourself these questions:

How important is it in the big scheme of things?

Do you need to make an instant decision or can you wait for clarity?

What are the facts?

What choices do you have?

Is it all your responsibility?

Is there anyone you can speak to, to share the load?

Can you get some help/support?

All these things are ACTIONS that can help with our (at times) rather unruly minds.

As I often mention, one ounce of action is greater than one ton of theory, so find a strategy that works for you and keep your mind in check.

Managing Difficulties

Fri, 31 May 2013 18:14:13 +0100

What a big week I have had with so much going on! Job lists ever increasing, new clients to see, business seems to be picking up along with the pace, then, my car broke down!

I don’t have time for my car to break down!

To throw in the mix, my son asked me for lunch and I really didn't have time for that either! I am sure you can relate to how I have been feeling? There I was, sitting in the car park full of anger and resentment, it was not helping me, being full of anger and resentment only affects me, raised blood pressure, headaches, anxiety, stress and worry, all things I was putting on myself.

I needed to do something fast, to stop myself loosing my peace and serenity, but what could I do?

Great question isn’t it? Well I will tell you exactly what I did, in the hope it might help you too.

Getting really worked up (even if it is justified) doesn’t really make me feel better, so I now have a strategy that helps me mange those difficult times:

STOP and take a few moments to breath
Ask yourself, in the big scheme of things, how bad is it really?
Try to name how you are feeling, anger, frustration, sadness etc?
Speak to someone about it, even if it is only briefly
Get some help to focus on a solution
Allow yourself time to move on, you can't make yourself move on, it is a process
Try to look for the benefits or lessons you can learn
Accept the situation you find yourself in
Finally, try to do something, even if it is really small, to help

It is not always easy, but if you try the above I promise it will help, I still feel sad, as I have not got my car back, but I am out on my bike and I am blessed to be in a healthy body and I have been able to enjoy the outdoors.

Later that day I rode my bike into town, sat in the sunshine with my son eating lunch and telling him my story, of course soon everything will be back to normal, as it's called “life” …. until the next time x

How to take back control of your life

Wed, 22 May 2013 16:09:24 +0100

Wow - this is a BIG topic to blog about this week!

I am amazed at how many people I coach who say “when ..?? improves then I will be able to slow down, or take back control of my life, or take better care of myself.

They often are running around trying to get lots of things completed and ticked off their unrealistic to-do list, "there just isn’t enough time for me" is a common exclamation I hear!

In the mean time, they may have work-loads that are excessive, they are often unable to balance their work life and their home life, never really feeling on top of things, they constantly feel they are being pulled in all directions, as well as feeling guilty that they are not able to spend enough time with their partner/ families or themsleves, and the end result is that they feel stressed.

It is becoming more and more clear that people just DON’T make the time they need for themselves as they feel there are too many other things which take priority.

Not enough money and / or time are the two top reasons people give for not being able to take good care of themselves.

Feeingl they have lives that are too busy, as a result it impacts significantly on their health, yet in general, if asked, many people will tell you the most important thing in the world is your health!

Tiredness, lethargy, irritability, despondency, over eating or unhealthy eating, using alcohol or food as a way to help them 'unwind, relax, comfort' themselves are to name but a few of the side effects of not taking self care seriously. You can see the picture, but what’s the ANSWER!

It's so simple you won't believe me but here it is:

Put yourself and your health first, above everything else. Put yourself before all the other stuff that gets in the way and I guarantee the rest will become manageable again.

Don’t believe me?

I have personal experience of all of the above, and when I turn the focus around and let go of the 'externals' and focus on the 'internal', my life transforms! The only thing I can guarenatee to change is myself.

It's not always easy and that’s why I have personally worked with a coach to help me. You can get off that hamster wheel too, but it takes courage, commitment and discipline!

If you choose too, you will feel healthier, happier and genuinely be able to take back control of your life to where it should always have been ... with you x

Stress Buster

Fri, 17 May 2013 14:56:43 +0100

Even the word STRESS can stress people out!

Life can be so challenging sometimes, so many tasks to complete and not enough time to do them in.

I have been practising my stress busting techniques for some time now, and I think I have cracked what to do (it isn’t easy, so don’t get too excited as it takes oodles of discipline and bucket loads of practise).

Today I decided it was time to have an “office - sort out bits and pieces day”, something I really don't relish.

I was ready to go, with my timer in place, which is something I use to help me honour other commitments I have planned into my day.

I went into my office and the internet wasn't working! I could feel my blood boiling and the anxiety started to pump around my body, as I felt my patience drain away! I was really feeling STRESSED!!! What a ******! Me of all people, I am NOT supposed to feel like this, I work hard at keeping it all together.

I decided (and it really is a decision) to focus on a solution, but first I allowed myself to feel the initial shock, anger, and sheer frustration that wanted to build in my body.

I then simply took a massive deep breath and focused on what I could do. Funnily enough my son came home at that moment and tried to fix the problem, but in the meantime said "I am sure there is something you could be getting on with”, he was spot on, and I had already decided to do just that.

Within an hour or so the problem was fixed and everything was working again. I am thrilled to say I didn’t allow my frustration, shock and anger to take over, as I would have done in the past.

It’s a real stress buster to make the choice and choose to take back control of your emotions. The wonderful feeling I get from that is difficult to put into words. You may not suffer from stress, but if you do, try my simple steps and see if you notice how much nicer it is for your mind and body, not allowing yourself to harbour the feelings of stress, anger and frustration.

Freedom from the fast track

Fri, 10 May 2013 09:27:47 +0100

I am constantly seeking ways to improve my health. Trying to to understand what I need to do to obtain a happier, healthier more fulfilling life.

Like many people over the years, I tended to do “too much” and when my “to do list” became overwhelming I simply tried to go up a gear or two. I tried harder, to do more and do it quicker, that was the answer to my life’s problems.

Brace yourself, the simple answer to the above is ... it’s wrong!

Most of the stress and anxiety I felt was down to me, I was creating it! I was rushing around from task to task, skipping meals or eating on the run, getting anxious when I was stuck behind others on the road, going to bed late with a list of jobs outstanding, that caused me worry. I made no time for myself , I am sure you get the picture!

I also felt undervalued, I was not receiving the credit I deserved! The consequences of living like that was continual stress, stress, stress.

Today I have learnt to SLOW DOWN. Some years ago I worked with a life coach who helped me and showed me "how".

I now make time for “myself”, I delegate or ask for help where I can, I am more realistic about what I can achieve, I respect my limitations, I eat really healthily, sitting down at a table, 3 times a day. I have a faith that helps me. I laugh more, make time for my husband and family, I spend more time with nature.

It's all simple (not necessarily easy sometimes)... but there is no rocket science behind this.

The change in my life has been phenominal, I feel 100 percent healthier, my whole body feels respected, instead of burnt out.

Wow! It really is easier to get out of the fast lane than you might think. Start today with one simple action towards a happier healthier more fulfilling life!

Dealing with the Grumps.

Tue, 07 May 2013 12:02:34 +0100

I was just called by a friend who said she was in a “grump”, someone told her to call me as I could help.

It was rather ironic, as I was ALSO in a grump. How funny was that!

I have a bit of a cold, some plans I had made had been changed, and I was deciding what I would do with my new unallotted time.

I found myself helping this person who had called me with lots of ideas of how she could deal with her grumps.

At that time it came to me that this would make a great blog to help others.

I started to talk about what a lovely day it was, that I had a computer and a nice office to work in. I mentioned I would be having my lunch in the garden at 1pm, and that it was a really sunny day .

Before I knew it, more and more simple suggestions were spilling from within me, and guess what? I started to feel much better within myself!

In fact, we both ended up laughing, which clearly helped both of us.

I want to list some of the things we came up with to help us move on from our grumps, and although they are all pretty obvious it’s nice to be able to choose which ones you might want to try:

1. Do something nice for someone else (I like to write blogs with helpful tips for others to read)

2. Look at what you have got, NOT what you haven't

3. Talk to someone about how you feel

4. Focus on something to look forward to (I was really looking forward to lunch in the garden)

5. Get into nature and fill your lungs with fresh air

6. Have a laugh

7. Allow yourself a set time for being grumpy, then move on with something positive

8. Acceptance (it's ok to feel grumpy sometimes)

And finally remember, as they say in twelve step programs, “ this too will pass” .

Dealing with difficult people

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 16:25:42 +0100

Following one of the presentations I gave recently whilst I was aboard the Black Watch Cruise I was confronted by a rather angry lady and found myself in an uncomfortable situation, I thought I handled the conversation in a really healthy manor and so I have decided to share my experience with you!

The lady who confronted me after the presentation clearly hadn't enjoyed it, her tone and body language as she spoke to me was aggressive. In confrontational situations people's responses can generally be categorised as either fight, flight or freeze!

For example, depending on the situation I might argue (fight), which only leads to increasing anger. At other times I would say nothing (freeze), but I would be seething inside and hold on to those feelings, or even walk or run away (flight), as I don't like confrontational situations. None of these responses are satisfactory and definitely don't leave me feeling great!

Today I am able to manage different situations, not only with empathy and respect, but I don’t carry with me the resentment or anger that would have arisen in the same such situations previously.

I still encounter the same feelings but I have learnt to respond to them in a different way.

So what changed?

Firstly….. I choose to take care of myself, through my diet and taking the rest I need etc, and I know myself in a way I never used too. Having a healthier state of mind allows me to handle situations in a calmer, more relaxed manner.

Secondly …. my focus isn't on whose right or wrong but on what the best outcome of the situation would be (ideally for both of us).

Steps....

Keep it simple and ask the other person what is the root cause of the problem, REALLY listen, ask them to be specific.
Repeat back to them what they have said, to clarify you have heard them.
Ask them what they would like you to do to remedy the situation.
If you can carry out that remedy great, if not give some HONEST feedback and offer them a number of choices that you can do.
Put yourself in their shoes.

I tried to action all of the above, the angry lady was still angry! but, I felt empowered, I allowed her to be angry without letting her anger affect me so much. Yes, it was uncomfortable but I did the best I could. In the end I was able to 'agree to disagree' and I didn't take her anger with me. In that incident I believe that the things that had made her angry were within her. She wasn't angry because I had caused her to be.

Practise practise practise, it gets easier .We can’t like everyone, but if you can come out of a difficult situation without hatred or blame the other person, it will be you that benefits.

Sandra X

Believing in yourself

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 12:42:01 +0100

Blogging is something I never thought I would be able to do, at school I was not good at writing, in fact I hated it!

There were too many rules that stifled me, so I never pursued it. I didn't believe in myself enough and I also didn't have enough encouragement.

I was later diagnosed with dyslexia, and a short attention span didn't help either!

Now I have found a wonderful way to write, that's easy and allows me to write freely, what an amazing turn around!

There are 3 things that have helped me to become a blogger and overcome my fears and dyslexia.

Support (A wonderful P.A. who reads through all my work and puts it into context)
Technology (spell check)
Faith (I write about things from my heart, not my head and believe I can do it)

The key is that I realised and believed against all odds I could do it, however hard it appeared at times.

For many years I have worked with a coach who has helped me to overcome one of my core beliefs, “I am not good enough”. Today I enjoy writing for 3 magazines, All About Ferring, Powerliving and Event Magazine, I blog weekly and even have a business facebook page!

My P.A. and I are working on a book together, it is a monthly commitment, to sit and write.

Many people under-achieve, not because they can’t do something, but because they don’t believe they can.

I want to encourage you to get help and support, either from a coach or other people around you who you love and trust.

If I can do it, anyone can, it is possible if you can believe it .

Don’t preach just practise!

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 09:57:45 +0100

Don’t preach, just practice!

I love this theme so much this is my second blog that relates to it!

Once upon a time, when my sons were young, I would say “Don’t do what I do, do what I tell you!”. As parents, I am sure we have all said something similar. I often said it in jest, I look back now and realise just how confusing that was for a small child.

Let me be straight here, let’s all be aware of what we are really saying and doing to ourselves and others. I would imagine we would all like a healthy self esteem, to value ourselves and have self respect… to obtain them we have be kind to ourselves!

Throughout my nursing career I worked with many nurses and doctors who really did not look after themselves (myself included). We would tell patients to stop smoking, slow down, eat regular healthy meals, limit alcohol intake and learn to communicate your feelings. Interestingly, we rarely seemed to take our own advice! If we are not able to respect our own health, how could we expect others too!

These days I really do put my health first and my family respect me for doing so. Not only do my family and friends respect me, but they also seem to take care of themselves better.

It is impossible for everyone to like each other but respecting what they do is something we are all capable of.

Main Ingredients for Health and Happiness

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 11:20:51 +0100

As most people know, I love writing my blogs. The driving force behind me is the thought I may be helping another person. That makes my work feel not only worth while but gives me a sense of fulfillment.

I can give you a zillion reasons why you should take care of your health, as well as the evidence to support them. I can explain how to obtain good health, but what you really need is to want to make a change, and that’s the first ingredient.

It's as simple that!

If you don’t want to change then everything will stay the same or worse still the situation may decline!

So what’s the answer? We all have different drivers that make us want something. Some people look for the benefits of changing to help them make better choices, they know they will feel more relaxed, in control, happier... It is something to “look forward to”. It's a carrot.

For others when things get so difficult and uncomfortable they want to move away from the situation they find themselves in. They don’t want to be, unhappy, tired, anxious, stressed any more.

Clearly there are other ingredients to baking the cake of change, and for me they consist of;

Action

Discipline

Faith

Consistency

Today I got out of bed, early as I usually do, I enjoyed a period of meditation and then breakfast with my husband. Then I ran upstairs and went straight to my “job list”. One look and I felt overwhelmed, stressed, anxious and despondent. (I thought to myself, this is not a great feeling for a health coach, someone who should be in control, relaxed and calm!).

My husband said, you look tired and you have a bit less in the energy department, why don’t you go back to bed for an hour to rest, that’s what you would suggest to a friend. So I decided I would be gentle on myself and did exactly that. I started my day again, and when I got up the list was still there. If I am honest, I still felt a little anxious, but I felt I had really respected myself. I had needed that time and rest.

When I push myself too hard I put pressure on myself. If I can't put myself first, how can I expect to help others? Then I took a realistic look at my “to do” list, and I will do the best I can.

HEALTH can be a bit like making a great cake, if all the ingredients are there, the cake will be great. So what ingredients do you need to add to gain more health and happiness?

Self Discipline

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 16:19:02 +0100

I notice with myself that anything I love doing and feel like doing gets done. The minute I need to do something that I don't feel like doing the task seems so much harder and much more self disciplin is needed to get the job done.

What I want to talk about are the health benefits you are probably not aware of when you are disciplined with yourself and others, as well as how to achieve it.

Speaking for myself I notice I am more relaxed when I am disciplined, content, happier, and I have a sense of feeling more in control. I take pride in what I achieve. These are all things that build self esteem, which in turn has a profound effect on my general health.

We can all relate to how we feel when we do not exercise self disciplin:

Guilty, worried, anxious, angry, dissapointed, even angry or depressed, to name but a few.

So what is the solution? There are variuos ways, try what suits you:

1.Set a timer to remind you to start/finish a commitment.

2.Ask someone to hold you accountable.

3. Coaching can help you identify why you are undisciplined

4. Try to make a habit of doing what you need to do, regardless of how feel.

5.Reward yourself with something you like.

6.Do the hardest thing first and end with the easiest.

7.Be conscious of the distractions and keep focused.

8.Finally remeber how great it feels when you have been really disciplined!

I do all of the above at different times, but have added the "feel great factor" as something to look forward to when it's all done!

So give it a go, create some joy and happiness for yourself by being that little bit more disciplined.

Through the Tough Times

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 15:31:25 +0000

It's really hard putting on a “happy face” all the time, especially when you have your own business and when things don’t go well it's even tougher.

As most people know I recently arrived home from a wonderful cruise where I was an enricment lecturer. It was a 'holiday of a lifetime' and you would imagine that I would be in high spirits, but I have had my fair share of physical pain recently. As a Health coach who is usually in great health it’s a hard pill to swallow.

I have realised, more and more, that people really benefit most from my experiences when I am honest about what is happenning in my life.

Nobody's life is perfect, speaking openly and honestly can be such a relief, it allows others to feel comfortable enough to do the same. The key for me is acceptance followed by action. Acceptance of how things are right now and what I can do to help and support myself. I like to encourage others (writing blogs for example) and not get too much into the “Drama” of a negative situation. Thinking repeatedly and persisitently about difficulties tends to make me feel worse (and nobody really wants to hear anyone complain continuously!).

Perhaps it can be a gift to spend time resting, slowing down and thinking a little more. Viewing things on a daily basis and realising that generally most things will pass as well as considering there will always be someone worse off than I.

I like to keep in mind my purpose and working towards that purpose always gives me the strength to carry on. Above all, it gives me something to be grateful for.

So be strong and encourged if you are having a hard time. Give yourself a big hug!

Finding Balance

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 11:34:46 +0000

I am settling down following a wonderful cruise experience, I worked as well as cruised! I have been offered another 2 weeks in the Canaries, next week!

It is a tough decision. I am passionate about the work on the cruise ships, it is so much fun, but the reality is I need to know my own limitations.

It’s been a really tough lesson to learn, as I want it all! I will not be able to undertake the work next week and cruise for another 2 weeks in the Canaries.

The reality is I have other commitments, it is also kinder to my general health. I need to take time to settle down after the last 3 weeks.

I have issues with workaholism, and I need to 'be on guard', and make sure I don't do too much.

Reality is, I need to have a really balanced, healthy life and I need to get to know myself and ensure I am not doing any one thing too much.

I used to over exercise, over eat and over work, often feeling I wasn't doing enough!

I would like to leave this planet saying "I enjoyed my time here, spent time with my family, laughing, exploring nature and doing a job I loved as well as taking good care of my self".

Also, I would like to be remembered by my children, as well as others, as a good example of being respectful of my health and myself (as well as respecting others).

So, nothing too heavy this week, just a blog about seeking more balance in my life, which will hopefully benefit others.

Living in Reality

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 11:58:32 +0000

I have just returned from the Black Watch Cruise where I was lucky enough to spend 3 weeks with my husband as well as work as an “enrichment lecturer”.

I am now in my office looking out of my window at the grey skies, I see the rain and wind lashing down, I need to “dig deep” for some inspiration for my weekly blog.

Someone once said to me "success is made up of 1 percent aspiration and 99 percent perspiration"! One thing I know is that having a real sense of purpose does give you oodles of perseverance even when times get tough. Although I am sliding slowly back into my usual working routine I want to remember how blessed I have been to gain these wonderful experiences.

Living the reality is enjoying all life's ups downs and in-betweens, staying on a cruise ship without the need to cook for 3 weeks is not something I can hold on to forever (nor would I really want to).

So, for today, my message is simply, just live for today and live it to the full, with humility, grace and respect for yourself and all those around you. Do the best you can and the world will be a better place for it.

Living in reality is a gift in itself.

Pure Joy

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 19:42:29 +0000

It's 6.30 am on March 7th 2013 and I am writing my blog on board the Black Watch Cruise Liner. Wow, what an experience ... I am here for 3 weeks as a guest speaker and I have just presented 2 talks with 3 more to go.

It's been the most incredible time of such indulgence, I have never experienced 3 weeks of unbroken sunshine, having the time to visit many beautiful countries and I have not had to cook one meal. I have met some truly amazing people and I have had the opportunity to rest my body, relax and have fun with my husband, who I love and respect immensely.

You would imagine I am experiencing the ultimate in real joy!

What took me by surprise was, although all these things are a true blessing, what has given me the experience of pure joy the most has been to stand in front of over 100 people and having the privilege of fulfilling my purpose!

It felt electrifying and humbling at the same time. I also had a sense of feeling ‘at one’ with the world, but most of all, the real blessing was in being able to offer something I had personally and uniquely created that may be of help to another.

This was a truly and unforgettable monumental moment in my career! X

Forgiveness

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 21:05:05 +0000

This is a really tough thing to do, especially when we have been really harmed by another person. I once heard this and it really resonated with me.

If I hold resentment, bitterness, or hate within myself it’s just like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die!

I have experienced a horrendous situation where someone made serious accusations against me whilst I was Nursing. At first I felt really angry, this made me bitter and resentful. What was interesting is those thoughts and feelings only disturbed my peace. It interfered with my health and I felt it deep within me, resentment which almost ‘ate me up’. I decided I wanted to do something different. I was advised to pray for the other person for a few weeks and but to be honest, what I wanted to do was get that person back, or seek revenge, in some way.

I think I believed if you forgive someone, you are saying what they did was ok. What she did to me was not ok by any means.

I am now (after years of practise) really able to forgive people, especially when I allow myself to walk in their shoes, understand that they are really doing the best they can and what they think is right.

The freedom this has given me is phenomenal, and I am no longer bogged down with feelings of resentment from years gone by. The person I was once so hurt by, is now not on my mind and I wish them well. What happened to me was not ok, but I have chosen that it doesn’t ruin my life.

So if anything is keeping you stuck in ‘resentment, hatred or anger’ you can choose to do something different. to forgive or move on. I guarantee you will feel not only relief, but a real sense of freedom. All of which allows you to live with a healthier mind, body and spirit.

Self Care

Fri, 08 Feb 2013 18:44:50 +0000

I seem to have done a lot of work around honouring commitments with clients recently, I am amazed how many people put themselves last and continually put others first.

I have to say, I used to be like that, for most of my life, now I can honestly say I honor commitments to myself as equally as I honour my commitments to others. In fact, I will even go as far as to say, if I really feel something may affect me detrementally, I will honor my health first.

It's so hard to turn it around at first, as I believe we are all "hard wired" to put others first, and it seems so really selfish to put our own needs first.

I want to turn that around to discuss how putting myself first benefits both others and myself. This is a direct result of what I now choose to call 'self care'.

First and foremost, when I do what I say I will do for myself, it brings with it a real sense of self respect.

The story that comes to mind is about my PA, she is really a wonderful asset to me and we meet regularly most weeks, I had mentioned to her that I was a bit of a workaholic and as a health coach it is not helpful to be doing something that is not self caring.

At one time it seemed a bit of every day had some sort of work related "stuff" to be done, so I made the descision to have a day to myself, to do my own thing, yoga, sauna, walking cinema etc. I mentioned to her I would be doing this and she sees I regularly honour that commitment to myself (I call it 'My Monday').

One day when I was due to see my PA she went to say, I can only see you next Monday, but before she had time to finish her sentence she said "oh no, I can't see you Monday as that's your special time that you keep for yourself".

It was such a good feeling, and it has had a knock on effect with my family, who all know and respect the time I reserve for myself.

Finally, I feel more relaxed and able to work with greater focus as I have ensured my own needs are respected and taken care of.

I hope this gives you some food for thought and as the L'Oreal advert says "because you are worth it"!

The Non Financial Self Assessment

Tue, 29 Jan 2013 20:04:49 +0000

YES, you really can create great health, but it is something that takes time, commitment and real dedication, I am living proof you can completely turn things around.

To set the picture, 15 years ago I had a catalogue of challenges in my life I will put them all under the umbrella of 'stress'.

I felt very undervalued and taken for granted by my husband and children, I felt like a 'work horse' or 'robot', as I used to say to my friends. 24 hours was not enough time in my day, I seemed to do over and above what every one else appeared to be doing, yet every day my job list never seemed to end!

I was angry and at times exhausted, I did not really feel understood and that made me really quite resentful.

Through my blogs I aim to write something inspirational each week.

So what can I pass on to you that you can actually do to turn things around when there doesn't seem time in your day to “squeeze” you in!

Actually that was the key for me, recognising I put everyone before myself.

Why did I do that? Clearly it wasn't working.

I suppose there were many reasons; perhaps it was in my teaching, to put others first, or that I continually try to people please, feeling valued only if I do “stuff” for others and so on.

Today it’s a really different picture, I have a great life and now I put myself first. I attend yoga, undergo shiatsu and give myself permission to go to the cinema every week. I rest when I am tired and ask for help when I need it. I really have to 'let go' of being perfect!

My marriage is better than I could ever have dreamed, I feel loved, respected and valued.

My health is better than it has ever been and I am still amazingly productive. I am bursting with gratitude that I have learnt to take care of myself properly before becoming very ill.

I have really learnt to put myself first, no one else can create my good health apart from me.

So get started and make a tiny step in the right direction, find something to do that’s loving to yourself and then build on it.

I promise you, you will never go back and you really are worth it!

The Power of Quiet Time

Fri, 25 Jan 2013 11:34:58 +0000

I have just given a presentation on The Power of Quiet Time (or meditation as some people call it).

We had a one minute "trial session" where eveyone sat with their eyes closed to see what they noticed.

What was really interesting is, even when I was speaking about quiet time I felt so much calmer! The reason this, I believe, is it makes you STOP, slow down ,breathe and become a little more concious.

At the presentation someone mentioned it was "not enough time", they seemed to be really enjoying it and others said they felt they were really connecting with themselves and how they were feeling.

Research proves that meditation helps relax us, release pent-up stress, and makes us feel more at peace.

Other physical evidence suggests that meditation can help people with heart problems and/or blood pressure, increasing their exercise tolerance and improving general health.

I have personally been excercising sessions 30 minute sessions of quiet time for 11 years, nearly on daily basis and I am amazed at how much more control I have over my emootions and how I feel so much more in control, with more energy and time to do the things that make me happy.

My suggestion is, to try it for a period of time and see how it makes you feel, it does need to be regular and you do have to be committed to get the full benefits.

I suppose the proof is in the pudding, my family assure me I am a more peaceful calm person to be around!

The Domino Effect

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 16:11:42 +0000

I believe that my purpose in life is in helping people to become more effective, have more fun and ultimately become healthier.

The benefits of each of us having more control in our lives is not only evident within ourselves (more focus, greater emotional control, more effectiveness in our communication) but it will have a domino effect in respect of everyone around us.

When I am in a ‘good space’ it’s so much easier to deal with challenges and situations, ultimately achieving better results.

We all know what to do to improve our health and wellbeing so why don’t we see a calmer, relaxed healthier world.

I believe the reasons are deep rooted, what comes to mind is discipline and commitment, generally people seem to do things dependant on their “Feelings”, what will make a better world is if we honour our commitments, not only to others but first and foremost to ourselves.

Keep it simple, if what you are doing is not working, find someone to work with who can help you. They can ask the question “what’s stopping you?”

The solutions are in the questions.

What do you want?

When do you want it by?

How will you get it?

The magical ingredients are:

Discipline

Commitment

Being disciplined and committed regardless of how you ‘feel’.

If you struggle to achieve your New Year’s resolutions and want to know what’s stopping you, get a coach. You will be AMAZED at how it will open your eyes to what blocks you and ‘free you up’ to be the healthiest, happiest person you were always meant to be.

Finally, the domino effect will transform everyone around you too.

A happier world all round!

The Power of Connection

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 06:31:58 +0000

In this tough climate it's not easy for businesses to strive. Many companys are going under, in fact I just heard Blockbusters, Jessopps and Dudmans, (all local companies) are all 'going under'.

As a self employed woman with my own business one of the most rewarding things I have done over the past few years is networking.

I am told I am the “queen” of networking (I don’t know if I am happy with the title but it did make me smile).

I am committed and go to regular breakfast meetings month in, month out, and have been blown away by the support and friendships I have made.

Connecting with other like minded people has given me the strength to push on with my 'purpose', as a Coach, in what have been tough times for any business, let alone a newish one.

Connecting with others brings not only support and encouragement but new ideas and the chance to help others, which in turn is really satisfying.

Finally, if I can’t connect with others my spirit will eventually grow weary and shrivel up!

Whether it be in your personal life or in business, connections are what makes the world go round.

So my encouragement for the week is get up, get out there and make that connection!

Staving off Worry

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 08:00:25 +0000

This is something I have learnt. Staving off worry is not an easy thing to do. Most people have something in life that can lead to worry, perhaps financial, health, work or family issues.

All feelings are natural but it’s what we do about them that’s important, living 'in the day' is something I revert to time and time again.

Nine times out of ten my biggest worries never really develope the way I thought they would.

I can, and have, spent long periods of time projecting into the future about what could happen, or worse still, worried about things that have happened (which really is a waste of time).

Of course, it's important to plan for the future, but worrying about things that may never happen is unhealthy, as it is coupled with so much anxiety. The same as worrying about the past doesn't serve me well, the past is the past and what I should take forward with me are the lessons I have learnt and the happy memories I have.

So my solutions are simple ones, as they always are:

Live 'in the day'

Focus on the solution not the problem

Acknowledge feelings but don’t get bogged down with them

Stick to the facts (often I can blow things out of proportion)

Have a sense of humour

Personally I have faith in something greater than myself and this seems to help me when I need it most.

And finally, remember you have the resources to cope with whatever comes your way!

When your tanks empty

Sun, 06 Jan 2013 09:51:44 +0000

The whole purpose of all my blogs (and the work I do, come to that) is about helping others to feel better, by motivating, encouraging and valuing them.

I just adore helping people to take care of themselves and if I can leave this planet and be remembered for making a difference, then I will be a very happy person indeed.

What’s wonderful is the by-product of helping others, I feel better about myself.

This evening I am tired and had to really pray for some inspiration, on the way home I had to fill my car up with some petrol and it gave me an idea for this blog.

To be honest my tank is a little empty and I don’t really feel I have much to give but, I decided to dig deep and pray (which always helps me).

I do get low moods sometimes and often the only way to get myself out of them is to try to help someone else.

So my story for this week is: encourage anyone who sometimes feels their tank is a little empty to do the following:

Perhaps having an early night or an extra long bath.

Some healthy food and a well earnt rest (which is something I believe everyone could work on.

Think of something you know you are particulary good at (and we are all great at something), it may be you are creative and could make something for someone, or perhaps, like me, you are a great encourager and could say some kind words to someone.

One of my brothers is a great listener and is able to help others by just being there for them.

So find out what you can do to help others and you will be amazed at how it can not only help them but refill your own tank too!

Controlling your emotions.

Fri, 28 Dec 2012 11:48:57 +0000

Wow what a Wow challenging time Christmas can be! In my home food and drink seemed to be everywhere, as well as people!

We had a house full, and my normal routine was out of the window. It’s at times like these I find keeping calm the most difficult.

Scenarios that might appear funny upon reflection but ‘in the moment’ were almost unbearable.

Someone with their shoes on the poof, one of my sons breaking (yet another) piano string, whilst playing happy birthday for my mum, people staying up late and chocolate wrappers strewn all over the floor!

Amazingly, my whole family felt so comfortable they all stayed another two nights! Had I been grumpier they might have left earlier.

Seriously, it’s really a miracle that I have managed to control my emotions pretty much all the time, what a blessing!

So what do I do differently these days.

Well firstly I stop and breathe and ask myself the question:

How important is it?

Will I regret what I want to say?

And most importantly, will it disturb my peace?

So there you have it, my simple (but not always easy) way of controlling my emotions.

Oh and finally I usually pray for a bit of help! x

A Christmas Story

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 11:40:42 +0000

Well here we it’s Christmas Eve already, so I thought I would end the year with an encouraging story!

As a child I loved being read stories, my father was an amazing story teller, and when he read to me I was truly mesmerised. I often want to recapture those moments and the way I do it is to tell stories myself, from my heart.

As a coach one of my main purposes is to help others reach their full potential. Knowing my own purpose allows me to experience a sense of well-being far beyond my wildest dreams. Of course eating well, exercising and taking care of myself all adds to my optimum health, but having a “God given” purpose allows me to feel complete.

As a small child my mother told me we are all given a gift from God. I was so excited, I asked what my gift was? She smiled and told me “you have the ‘gift’ of the gab”. I was delighted, that at only 5 I had been told what my purpose might be, not actually realising what gab meant, bless me!). When I found out I was really disappointed, but I soon realised how special that was.

As a Nurse and now a Coach it is really important to be able to support and encourage people. I do that best with words.

So the moral of my Christmas story is, find out what you purpose is, and if you need a coach to help you find it I would very much like to work with you in 2013.

Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. HO HO HO.

Letting Go

Tue, 11 Dec 2012 10:14:23 +0000

Letting go for me is all about trusting. Whatever I have to 'let go of', which can range from resentments and anger, frustration or even my judgements. Perhaps even my ideals of how things should be. When I am in discomfort I have to check-in to see whether I just need to let go and trust. I have noticed that I suffer with work addicition and seem to feel that I must be doing things to create the life I want. I often forget that if this really is my purpose then I don't have to keep pushing. It will happen anyway. Of course, that does not mean I sit back and do nothing, but it does mean that I can do the next right thing and then just trust it will work out.

Today I am at an amazing health spa after doing a talk on the tools I have created. Just sitting in my beautiful comfy bed. I have eaten a divine dinner and had a massage. Even though I have a bad cold and feel really wiped out, the only thing I really need to do is rest and take care of myself and finally, just 'let go'.

Having Faith

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 16:39:43 +0000

Years ago when I used to think about having faith, I would think of a ‘god type figure’ and ‘some sort of religion’, it was not something I practised. I did however pray, occasionally, but only when I was in a desperate situation (like when my cat went missing!).

Over the last 15 years my idea of faith and religion has changed dramatically. Interestingly, I now have a very different, more spiritual belief, and find that having faith is what has actually kept me on track when things have not always been that easy (in both my personal and professional life).

By doing the right thing in both of these areas, I have found I automatically have faith, that everything will work out, it’s like the law of gravity. It just is. Apple drops = apple hits the ground, simple as that.

Having a strong faith to me means, my business will flourish and my relationships will be healthy and strong and to make sure that I keep my faith I need to:

Practise quiet time each day

Keeping my conscience clear by doing the right thing. Be honest, staying grateful, being authentic, having integrity and so on.

It would seem that the by-product of these things brings me a faith that gives me strength, perseverance, consistency, and the ability to be phenomenally disciplined.

Today I have a relationship with my husband that is second to none, which for us is a great achievement, nearly having gone through divorce a few years ago.

My business is also thriving, I have new clients, I am preparing as an enrichment lecturer for Fred Olsen Cruise Lines, as well as working alongside Champneys Health Spas, delivering talks to their guests on Health and Wellbeing.

So my tiny mustard seed of faith, as it has been at times over the past seven years, has brought me a life of dreams.

Voices In Your Head

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 20:20:20 +0000

Yes it’s that time of year when the job list escalates and the hours do not accommodate!

We have all our usual business to attend to and on top of that we add to the pot Christmas present buying, wrapping, cards to buy and write, houses and trees to decorate and extra food and drink to buy!

It all seems too much and as if that is not enough, the voices in our heads get LOUDER! You haven’t done enough, you should have done that, don’t forget this, and what about that. Our sleep is broken, filled with tossing and turning as we worry, waking the next day, often feeling more tired than when we went to bed!

So what’s the solution (the million dollar question), well all I can share with you is what works for me.

Practically when I notice the voices getting a bit louder, I just stop for a few minutes, take a nice big deep breath and ask myself this question:

Am I doing the best I can?

9 times out of 10 the answer is a resounding YES, so remember, there will always be things to do and you can only do so much in one day without ‘burning out’.

My suggestions for keeping on top of things each day are as follows:

1. Make time for yourself every day, get away from the business of life (even if it’s to have a long bath)

2. Do something for fun and laugh, share a joke with family or friends, watch something funny on tv, sing or play an instrument or listen to some soothing music

3. Accept those voices, but do not to pay too much attention to them .

Life is to be ENJOYED not ENDURED!

Enjoying Success

Sat, 24 Nov 2012 12:22:21 +0000

Did you know people fear success more than failure!

I have had my own business for nearly 7 years now, I have been 100% committed to my dream. I have been focused, dedicated, disciplined, consistent, determined and purposefully driven.

It’s been a tough road and I would never have walked along this path without a real sense of faith and that this was my destiny!

I had a phone call last week saying I was required to be an “enrichment lecturer” on board a ship.

I will be flown to India to join a world cruise, to present 8 talks over 3 weeks. This cruise is an all inclusive cruise and will be free for me and a guest.

This is part of a dream come true for me, it’s one of the things I have been working towards since I founded Innavision. So it’s all about to happen, and what am I feeling you might say (well, initially, of course, excitement, gratitude, joy) but also it is so interesting what I felt next:

What if it doesn’t happen?

What if I am not good enough?

Do I believe that I am good enough?

I don’t deserve it!

.............. and so the list goes on.

How sad that all I have worked towards comes to this place of fear doubt and insecurity.

What is wonderful is that I know myself so well now, I have learnt to accept my feelings and KNOW they are not facts! I choose not to judge myself, and my feelings, because if I feel like this I bet many other people secretly feel like it too.

I have decided on a solution to enable me to enjoy my new found success: I will keep my feet on the ground, keep it in the day, do the next right thing, be grateful, and as a dear friend reminds me “keep smiling and smelling the roses”.

Tips on Reducing Anxiety Levels

Tue, 13 Nov 2012 15:59:40 +0000

Tips on Reducing Anxiety levels

I have just arrived home from a 3 day health spa break in with my best friend. You may say, well of course you are relaxed, so would anyone be after walking around in a dressing gown for 3 days, with all your meals prepared and served, massages, yoga and relaxation classes, morning, noon and night! Of course I realise that, but there were so many things I learnt on that 3 day break that I can easily (with a bit of discipline) incorporate into my busy life.

The first thing I did when I got home was to take some time to just be quiet and still, focus on my breathing.

I often mention doing just one thing at a time and slowing down, as hard as it might be, it really does reduce anxiety.

Being realistic with the workload you assign yourself and the time you have to complete it, pressure creates anxiety.

Make time to laugh, it is also a great way to fill up your lungs with more oxygen and release those endorphins (happy natural chemicals) that reduce blood pressure, stress levels and anxiety.

Finally, don’t take yourself so seriously, life is to be enjoyed not endured!

Do You Have Good Boundaries?

Tue, 06 Nov 2012 16:57:17 +0000

The one thing I believe everyone wants is for others to respect us. This applies not only in the work context, but also in our personal and business lives. Having good boundaries in this economic climate can be really tough, but I need to respect myself and value my services.

For others to respect my boundaries, I need to respect them first. For anyone that knows me, honouring my commitments and working within the boundaries I set myself are paramount to my wellbeing. Working this way has gained a lot of respect from my husband and children.

Today I feel that I have been tested. Caught in a quandary of moral and business etiquette. I hope that I have respected my boundaries enough to stay true to myself as well as being professional and fair.

Respecting your own boundaries can sometimes be so hard, but you really do have to respect yourself and your boundaries as the benefits of doing so can be profound.

Less is More

Sat, 27 Oct 2012 13:15:01 +0100

Christmas Mania is almost on our doorsteps, planning, partying, shopping and supermarket queues. Rushing around, late nights and early starts. An almost unachievable "to do" list. All in preparation of the festive season. The season of peace and good will to all!

Did I mention peace? It's almost comical, as the word is used with so mich stress attached to it.

How can less be more?

I was recently chatting to a busy mum with young children, she was asked to meet friends at a time when she was already chok-a-blok. After careful thought she realised it would all be too much to squeeze in. Squeezing it all in would mean a lot more stress, affecting her, the Children and her husband. "It's just too much" I heard her say. Sorry as she was not to be able to socialise with friends and the children may not be able to see their friends, she felt more at peace and the children would ultimately be happier, not being dragged away from their friends in the middle of a game because they all have 'something else to do' or 'somewhere else to go'.

So less REALLY is more. More happy quality time without the stress. A win win situation.

Increasing Your Energy.

Thu, 25 Oct 2012 07:56:01 +0100

It's 7.30am and I am feeling inspired to blog something that is of real value! Hopefully, I do that anyway.

There is so much knowledge and information available to us, that we can acess through many sources, from the TV to the internet, but when it comes to making a difference in my own life I need to try things out.

I actually stumbled upon this by accident, and as most thoughts of wisdom, its almost so simple it can pass by in a nano second!

To increase my energy all I need to do is focus on something I LOVE.

I can give you loads of examples, but the thing is, you must action something to achieve results.

To make it easier to understand I will give you some examples of where this has helped me, and perhaps you can identify and try some of your own ideas:

To set the scene …….

I am a bit tired with a house that really looks like a bomb has hit it! We have decorating in progress, paper work that needs doing, washing to be sorted, and an unachievable “to do” list and I am still in my dressing gown!

Do you get the picture?

The thought of bloging was not high on my priority list. Whats ironic is, just by starting to write I immediately feel more energised, and why is that?

Nugget 1.

Do the things you LOVE to do, they fill you with energy you never thought you had.

Nugget 2.

Think about spending time with the people you LOVE and then make arrangements to see them.

My three sons are coming round for dinner, they have all left home now, so it’s a real treat to see them together every week.

I LOVE my boys, and it's so much fun having them here with my husband and I, all interacting, we are so proud of them all.

I can now start my day with a little more energy to get me through and it's still only 7.50am!

Getting Results - The Chicken Licken Story

Sat, 20 Oct 2012 11:43:17 +0100

I have noticed how most people generally know what they need to do to help themselves, but don’t seem to do it (or feel they can’t or even don’t want to).

It's like the children’s story of Chicken Licken, the chick who did all the hard work, when all the animals were asked to help they would not chip in! When the fruits of Chicken Licken's work came in the other animals all wanted to share in the profits, but the reality is, unless you do the work you won’t get the goodies!

The simplest way to move from one emotional place to another is to action something differently, or approach the situation in a different way.

I am not a great philosopher but Einstein did once say, one ounce of action is greater than one ton of theory!

More and more people are suffering with stress related problems, anxiety and addiction. We are saturated on the internet with every type of solution. But the bottom line is we must DO something differently to change the situation.

One of my clients realised they were having some difficulties in their relationship and wanted to change the other person. They had tried various methods but none had worked.

The ONLY person you can change is yourself, but you must honour the commitments you say you are going to do, otherwise you will just keep going round the same mountain.

My clients are held accountable by me and they say the by-product of doing something different is a sense of self respect.

I believe everyone wants to feel respect for themselves so give it a try and do something differently.

Managing emotions

Fri, 12 Oct 2012 15:23:31 +0100

I spend most of my time doing my best to motivate and encourage people, but these last few weeks have been a real struggle for me.

So without going into the full drama of my life I will fill you in on the story.

For the past 8 weeks I have had numerous health problems, they have all come at once, a painful knee that has dramatically decreased my mobility, an ongoing ear problem, a root canal infection in my tooth and to top it all, someone crashed into my car two days ago!

To be honest I have felt really rubbish but having been blessed with almost perfect health, until now, it’s been a tough time.

My three sons came for dinner and we were having a really great time when they all started to have a joke about people who 'play' on their disabilities, in particular dyslexia (of which I was diagnosed 10 years ago).

Half way through the evening I burst into tears and walked away from the table. (In the past I would have shouted at someone). One of my sons came to apologise (bless him) and give me a hug.

He said he was out of order and had had a bad day, I felt proud that I was able to avoid getting angry with him and blame him for how I felt. What I was actually able to say was that I have had a pretty bad time too and think I am a bit sensitive at the moment.

It’s wonderful to be able to manage my emotions these days, I get a win win situation if I don’t over react.

What I would really love to see is people having a little more empathy with themselves as well as with others as we are all human after all.

The before and after picture.

Wed, 03 Oct 2012 11:32:03 +0100

I just LOVE writing about relationships! Especially as I believe I am an expert in them, in my personal life I have had two relationships very close to me that were not so great, and that I have had to work hard to build into the strong relationships they are today!

I spent a lot of time blaming 'them' for not really understanding me and not doing the things I thought they should do.

I would often go to them and point out what they could do differently (which may work for a bit, but not in the long term).

I realised in hindsight (and hindsight is a great thing!) that I did not really have an amazing relationship with myself!

Take a closer look, I ask you to judge if you think I had an amazing relationship with myself?

The before picture (apple on the right)

I often took on too much and did not ask for help.

I often missed a meal or “grabbed” something unhealthy for lunch.

I found even when I sat at the table for meals I would get distracted (answer phone/get up to help kids/husband).

I often went to bed late.

I did not consistently eat three meals a day.

I found it difficult to say no (often to keep the peace).

At times I was not in control of my emotions.

I had huge expectations of myself and often of others.

I looked to be understood.

At times I drank too much tea/coffee/alchohol/bought to many clothes/ate too much.

I sulked.

I found it difficult to honestly say how I was feeling.

I told my kids to love themselves for who they were but did not do the same about myself!

The list goes on!

The after picture (appple on the left)

I say how I am really FEELING and not put on a brave face.

I go to bed earlier.

I eat ALL my meals away from any distractions (in the garden or at the table).

I eat fresh healthy foods.

I drink more water and don’t drink alcohol/caffeine.

I spend more time with my sons and husband without distractions.

I LISTEN more to what my family/friends need .

I am letting go of high expectations (myself/others) and realise we are all doing the best we can.

I am more grateful for what I have (my glass is half full).

I thank others more for what they do.

I laugh more.

I seek to understand myself more.

I love and respect myself today.

Today I have a beautiful relationship with all my sons and in particular my husband, not perfect but beautiful.

More importantly I have a great relationship with myself x

How to inspire yourself?

Thu, 27 Sep 2012 10:22:52 +0100

I have just finished playing the piano (I generally do 30 minutes practice every day).

As you know I write my Blog every week, but nothing was in my mind to write about this week, so I decided to relax and let it just come.

Whilst playing the piano (I have been having lessons now for 7 and a half years), I realised how often I talk about the stuff that I don't do, but how often do I share my thoughs and inspirations?

I suppose a lot of that is, I don't want to be egotistical or worse still, sound full of myself. As a child I was seen as being "big headed" and I was brought up not to show off too much.

I realise now there is a place for saying what I do well, the one thing I admire about myself is my consistent ability to honour my commitments.

Looking to others for inspiration is a great thing, but I also now look to myself. I have a real gift of persistance and determination.

My father was a wonderful man and adored me so much, I rembember as a little girl seeing him make his lunch for work. He had 2 crusty rolls with edam cheese, practically every day for 20 years! wow, that, to me, was the most boring thing you could imagine, but now I can see the similarities in myself, consistency (no I don't have cheese rolls for lunch, but I do share his ability to do the same thing over and over again).

Building a business has been a HUGE challange, something I did not embark upon until I was 45 years old.

I feel inspired by my singlemindedness, my purpose, my own driven passion to help the world take better care of themselves.

I see a bigger picture, everyone listening more to their own bodies, strengths and limitations.

Perhaps I see it as a "mission" and if I want to help others I must walk the walk too.

So, just for today I will feel satisfied that if I can inspire myself, then inpsire others! x

Do you deserve it?

Thu, 20 Sep 2012 15:38:28 +0100

So many people seem to have difficulty with giving themselves what they derserve, they seem to have no problem with giving but seem to struggle with taking things back for themselves (in particular women,giving themselves time for treats or to relax) or worse still they feel “guilty” if they do.

I have mentioned I now have one day a week that’s all for myself called “ My Monday”and funnily enough even I had recently let it slip ( back on track for 1^st October again).

Its so easy to let what appears “priority stuff” get in the way of taking real good care of ourselves, its as if other things are more important.

I would love to see everyone taking a lot better care of themselves and am on a bit of a crusade to help that happen.

The reality is if we do take better care and believe we deserve it, we are much better role models for our children plus when I take time for me every one else benefits!

I have a fab beauty salon near my home called “la belle” which is a bit special compared to the rest and it’s the PERFECT place to have some “me time”.

I spend a lot of time saying to my family and friends, take time for your self you deserve it so now I need to do the same for me.

Whether its a walk bath or special treatment, please believe you deserve it and book/do something special for you.

You don’t need permission!

How to be Fully Present.

Thu, 13 Sep 2012 10:15:14 +0100

I used to feel I was always 'fully present' with people, being a Nurse I prided myself on this, but was I really fully present.

I am so much more aware now, that I actually was often not very present at all.

To clarify, I thought I would write a list of ways I was not present, so people reading this can see if they ever do the same things. On the positive side perhaps choose not too do these things in the future.

These are the top 10 things I believe that people would say if asked this question:

“What makes you feel like someone is not present when you are with them?

When you seem to be judging me and deciding what advice I need.
When you are multitasking (on mobile/texting/reading/tv/moving about alot)
When you interrupt me.
When you seem tired or have a lot of your own “stuff” going on.
When you are not giving me a lot of eye contact.
When you seem in a hurry or discreetly look at your watch.
When I don’t do what you say I should do (for my own reasons).
When you see me, when you would rather not have (not putting in place good boundaries by saying no).
When you tell me how good you are in an area I am not good in.
When you have no empathy for me (when you have not walked in my shoes).

I was surprised at how much I have done some of these things in the past.

However I would like to say these days, I work on all the above and the feedback I get (particularly from my husband and sons) is that I am really very present most of the time.

So have fun with this and just try one out that you notice you would like to change.

And if we meet "test me out" x .

Smelling the Roses

Fri, 07 Sep 2012 06:29:30 +0100

As a health coach my main focus is about taking care of ourselves, but still I find it a really challenging thing to do on a daily basis.

Having my own business is so much harder that I thought it would be, I feel driven to work constantly in a bid to create more work and ultimately, more security financially.

It seems I never do enough or there is always so much more that needs doing.

Yesterday I decided I really needed 3 hours to clear some paper work that was piling up, (I knew deep down I would do the 3 hours and still feel it was not enough, but I decided I just needed to, at least, make a start).

So to paint the picture, I was tired, a little despondent and it was late afternoon. My son called and said he felt a bit unwell, could I make him dinner and come over.

BLAST my plans were jeopardised! It was so interesting, as I chose to be there for him, cook his meal and take time to listen.

We sat for 2 hours and I listened intently, it felt like all the time a voice in my head was saying “you should be doing the paper work! It seemed such a loud voice, but I realised this moment was special and the bottom line is, my family is always more important than my work. The point is, I really did the right thing and ignored the voice (which, to be honest, was actually really hard).

I received a text later thanking me for the meal and my time.

It was a very special moment, I felt like I had really stopped and smelt the roses, the aroma of doing the RIGHT thing was beautiful.

The work can wait another day!

Against all odds.

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 14:01:57 +0100

I do love a good story and today’s is about how we can push through even the worst odds and come out triumphant!

When I was a little girl I wanted piano lessons so my mum took me to a teacher nearby.

I don’t remember much about her but I DO remember she did not really feel I was worth teaching (to be fair she was right and I did not practise and found it such a difficult instrument to play).

She finally let me go and 30 years later I decided to try again, I had seven years with the same teacher who was very patient but just did not “get me”

I seem to have problems reading the music (dyslexia) and play half by ear and half by remembering little prompts. So even though I had practised every day for half an hour I decided it was time to change teachers.

I have been working with a lady called Gay who is AMAZING and I have come on in leaps and bounds, I am even playing for the first time in a mini concert in a few weeks time( with children mainly but its a start).

So I suppose if I where a horse, no one would have really put any money on me to win. However I do feel in my own way, against all odds I found a way to do something I LOVE in a way that works for me and finally crossed the winning line.

Finding Peace

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 16:56:34 +0100

A real deep and meaningful blog this week on the last bank holiday before xmas.

I went to the cinema today to see the film “Brave”, it was a wonderful film full of excitement, fun and meaning.

It was a real visual epic, not to be missed. I sat throughout the film almost in the front row with my tissues at the ready to mop up my tears!

The meaning of the film, for me, was about following your heart, respecting and loving your family and being at peace with who you are.

Interestingly enough I had an encounter with a family member just before I went and was able to say sorry for some of things I had done in the past. It was such a cathartic moment which really brought me so much peace. I was also able to forgive myself, which too, was letting go.

I now realise I am who I am (not perfect but doing the best I can), and that in itself brings me more peace than I ever dreamed of, as it allows me to just be me.

Today I realise the pursuit of peace is really within, I need to be at peace with myself first before I can expect to be at peace with the world.

Reaping the Rewards

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 13:07:08 +0100

Last week I took a bit of time out to have a massage (which was a last minute half price offer).

I noticed once I had booked it I felt a lot of guilt, I chose to ignore that feeling, as I believe I do deserve to reward myself sometimes.

I have to say I can’t believe how much more effective I have been as a result of taking a little bit more care of myself.

Although my blog goes out every Monday, occasionally I write two on the same day. In fact it was yesterday that I had the massage and today I have done 3 hours of effective, satisfying, focused work on my business (I believe this is really reaping the rewards of self care).

I had a friend round whose husband recently died and she encouraged me to enjoy every moment of health I have, you never know what’s around the corner.

The funny thing is we all seem to say this, especially to our family and friends, but don't actually do it ourselves!

So I want to be an example of how much more enriching your life can be if you put yourself first! As a Trained Nurse I saw many people that suffered the consequences of not taking as much care of themselves as they could and I don’t want to be one of them IF I can possible avoid it.

I would LOVE to persuade people to put themselves first a little more often and feel the benefits, it would be a more peaceful happier world as a result .

Not only do I reap the rewards so does everyone around me, as I am so much more content!

Are you ready for some rewards?

Do you value yourself enough?

Thu, 09 Aug 2012 11:46:49 +0100

Have you ever felt PRESSURE to do lots of work but still don’t feel you have done enough, even though you have not been idle?

Today I would like to concentrate on how we can take better care of ourselves and I then noticed I was a bit anxious in relation to my “to do list”.

I know in my heart that the more rested and relaxed I am that more work gets done and twice as efficiently.

I am really working on treating myself like I would "a young child who I can clearly see is working hard and doing the best they can each day, yet seems frustrated with how little they may have

achieved". I would be encouraging and supportive, tell them to do something they love that makes them feel good every so often and not to be so hard on themselves.

What I noticed today was I want to practice that on myself. All morning I have had a voice inform me I am not “doing enough” and I want to ask it respectfully to be quiet as it's not the truth!

It is funny that I write all these blogs and am continually challenged to “practise what I preach!”.

I happened to see a half price massage on offer locally (La Belle Beauty, one of the favourite places I like to visit) and have decided I will go at the end of the day as my body is a bit sore and could really do with it!

Wow, how lovely to know I value myself and can (just for today) let go of being so driven.

Do one thing at a time

Thu, 02 Aug 2012 15:39:33 +0100

We all know generally what we "should and should not" do, I believe this “do one thing at a time” is really beneficial to our general health,and have been working at it for many years.

Two ingredients that really are imperative are, discipline and practice!

I used to be proud to say I could multi-task (I never say never, as there are rare occasions when I still do it) but generally these days, I don’t.

However, today I feel the benefits so much I really don’t want to fall back into my old ways.

The benefits really are too numerous to list, but some of them are:

Experiencing a sense of accomplishment when individual tasks are completed.

A feeling of being more present and thorough.

Feeling more relaxed and focused on each task.

A sense of satisfaction and less stress as the "to do list" is slowly being tackled one thing at a time.

Pacing yourself allows people to feel more in control.

Blood presure becomes more stable when people slow down.

Anxiety levels are dramatically reduced.

The task itself often feels more enjoyable.

Another BIG bonus for me is the knock on effect it has to my family, I am a lot calmer and more relaxed. Also my mind is not so full of bits and pieces that are incomplete.

Finally I seem to have a greater sense of peace and feel I have respected myself more by not "burning myself out", someone one once said:Sandra you are a human being NOT a human doing!

So give it at try, I look forward to hearing how it works for you.

Do You Practise What You Preach?

Sat, 21 Jul 2012 11:45:44 +0100

Do you practise what you preach?

I recently wrote about burn out and then about the stage before, pushing yourself.

It’s bit ironic as this is an area I have to work the most on. I just love getting things ticked off the “to do list”. I was busy hurrying around today (not my norm so much these days), any way I thought I will just get the washing on the line (in a hurry to do more on the to do list) before I go to my next appointment. I then fell over on the way into the garden! I immediately realised I just wasn’t practising what I preach. I took stock of the “to list” once more.

I decided to actually have an hours rest, as the fall really took the wind out of my sails. I am so grateful I do this for a living, I need to constantly check if I am really “practising what I preach”. The question for me today is, how can I expect you to do all this transformational stuff if I am not doing it myself?

So, a little sore is my pride and my foot! But, all else is intact and I have actually written 2 blogs since I have surfaced! Bless me.

Who's Driving Your Bus?

Sat, 21 Jul 2012 11:34:40 +0100

I ADORE writing my blogs each week as my main purpose on the planet is to help other people to have a healthier happier life.

The title for this week’s blog was from a coach I met who once asked me “who was driving my bus”, I was curious about what he meant.

After some discussion I realised it was either my ego (all about what I wanted) or about the bigger picture, following a different guidance (my purpose).

I am a trained Nurse and would NEVER have considered changing professions (to be honest I didn’t believe in myself enough to even consider it).

When I am really doing what I was put on the planet to do, I feel a sense of harmony, synergy and connection with the world. I feel more fulfilled and more relaxed and that comes for taking time to be with myself and doing the next right thing.

My priority is taking care of my health and wellbeing in all areas (the health fountain tool I have created is where I started to identify those areas I specifically I needed to address).

Now I have that blue print in place the rest is pretty straight forward.

That does not mean it’s easy (in fact I feel challenged on a daily basis) but the fruits of my work are beyond a doubt worth their weight in gold!

Do You Push Yourself?

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 19:36:23 +0100

Recently I wrote a blog about being burnt out. Pushing yourself is the key stage BEFORE the burn out, which is not always easy to recognise until it’s too late.

Many of the clients I work with are entrepreneurial business men and women with there own companies.

Often they are working too many hours or spending more time thinking about their work loads than they would like or may be having symptoms of anxiety, tiredness undue worry and feel a certain amount of pressure/responsibility to keep going regardless.

There is a simple solution but it’s not an easy one. I myself have issues with high expectations of myself and it’s a great attribute in some areas, but your body will tell you when it’s been pushed to far.

What I notice is most people ignore the warning signs.

I have recently noticed I have cold like symptoms (a few weeks now) it’s been hanging about and I feel a bit weak and low of energy at times.

As a health coach I need to practice what I preach. The solution to pushing yourself is simple but so hard to do, but the rewards are huge.

I suppose the bottom line for me is do I really want to keep healthy and well and am I willing to take responsibility for the consequences of pushing myself?

I actually don’t want many of the consequences that go with it, which for me will be a short fuse with my family, rushing but achieving less, feeling really tired and not really happy.

Today I made the difficult decision to actually have a morning to rest, the reality is the work will always be there but I know now that when I am rested and relaxed I am so much more productive, my work actually suffers if I am not in a fit healthy state. My concentration is affected and I make more mistakes.

So today I can look forward to being more kind to myself because if I don’t look after me who will?

How to Really Connect With People

Sun, 08 Jul 2012 21:55:46 +0100

When I first started my business I was told people buy people.

I wanted to know the secret of getting clients without being pushy as I am sure we all feel our business's are great and unique, I didn't want my enthusiasm to come across as pushy. In this busy world I really want to make a difference, I need to really connect with people. Well the first thing I do is to be me, relax and have some fun.

I met a great guy in a meeting today whilst at breakfast, most people know the nature of my business so it's easier for me to just chat to people and find out more about them (most people also love to talk about themselves). I think it's important to have a genuine interest in people and remember a little thing each person you meet tells you. For example, the person I met has a birthday which will fall at the next meeting, so I will make sure I say Happy Birthday on the day (I also will get him a card and a balloon as I love to see people smile).

It's the little things that people remember, but most of all people will generally remember how you make them FEEL.

It really is much easier than you think to connect with people.

How to Keep Calm

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 20:55:32 +0100

I have spent most of my life reacting to other people’s dramas and allowing them to affect me. Today I just don't have to do that and it feels amazing! So what changed, well it must always start with me. I had an incident recently where I was contacted by someone who was extremely upset, she was almost hysterical. I needed to get to the heart of the problem and stay calm and to do this I needed to follow a few simple rules.

Stop and breath for a second or two (it allows you a moment to think)
Speak slowly and calmly (even if you don't feel very calm)
Reassurance (people who are upset generally want to be listened to)
Ask if there is anything you can do (then honour that commitment)
Put yourself in their position (it helps to be less judgemental and more empathetic)

It takes practice, but I use this system when people around me are becoming agitated, stressed or upset. It is important to be in control and not take on board other people's problems whilst still be empathetic.

Short and sweet this week but a very empowering system to use!